That's not funny, Sirius
by Vee017
Summary: Sirius had an idea, an evil awful idea, an evil awful horrible idea...which he of course thought was funny. Contains cross-dressing and light RL/SB slash


That's not funny, Sirius  
  
Harry Potter had moved into his Godfather's house at the end of his 6th year.   
Harry's godfather is Sirius Black, he escaped from Azkaban after serving twelve years out of a life sentence for attempted murder. He is an ex-con/murderer and lives with his Godson, Harry Potter and pet werewolf (Remus Lupin).  
One day Remus went shopping by himself because Harry, now nineteen years old, said that three fully-grown men shopping together would look gay. He couldn't help but notice Sirius wink at Remus at which point he looked at them with a raised eyebrow and decided to pretend that he didn't just see that.   
Usually Harry had no problem shopping with Sirius and Remus until Draco Malfoy told him that there was no way that three guys living together could possibly still be straight. So now when hanging with his friends (Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, and believe it or not, Draco Malfoy) Harry deliberately grabs Ginny and tongues her right there in front of everyone just to annoy Malfoy.  
Back now to our cheery happy day, Remus went shopping alone (for reason read beginning over again).  
Harry and Sirius were chilling in the kitchen when Sirius had an idea, an evil awful idea, an evil awful horrible idea, which he thought was, of course, hilarious.  
Sirius then voiced his idea to Harry.  
"Let's put Remus in a dress!" he said with a sadistic smile forming across his lips.  
"What?" said Harry, giving Sirius a look that said 'what have you been smoking?'  
"Oh come on, can't you picture him in a French maid uniform?"  
"No and quite frankly I never want to."  
"Your father and I used to do this all the time."  
"Put Remus in women's clothes?"  
"Well actually it was more Snape-ish than Remus-ish"  
"Whatever possessed you to put Snape in women's clothes?"  
"You know that reminds me of a VERY funny story..."  
"Save it Sirius, what were you thinking?"  
"About Snape?"  
"What? NO! Remus...French maid?"  
"Great idea huh?"  
"He's your best-friend."  
"All the better to experiment on my dear."  
"Well...I'll have to think about this for some time and.......OK!"  
Sirius and Harry got to work planning the ambush in Remus's bedroom and on what dress to stick him in.  
  
* * *  
  
Mary Sue was working in Woman's World when she saw two men enter the store and walk up to her free counter.  
"Excuse me, lovely lady, but do you have a dress in roughly his size?" asked Sirius, pointing at Harry.  
She looked at them stangely. Sirius kept smiling.  
"Uh...I understand we get your king in here once in a while." Said Mary Sue.  
"Our k.." Harry wondered if she knew they were wizard's but then coming to the conclusion of 'that's impossible you stupid fricken loser, maybe malfoy was right about you' He said the next thing that fit the situation.  
"I'm not gay!"  
"Right sure you aren't" said Mary Sue.  
She pointed them in a direction and they were on their way with Harry mumbling in disbelief all the way to isle 32.  
"I don't see you looking too upset." He told Sirius.  
"You have to learn to take these things with a grain of salt, Harry."  
"I'm starting to wonder about you, Sirius." Harry said eyeing him suspiciously.  
When they had found what they were looking for they apparated back home to set up the assault on Remus's dignity.  
"Camera in place?" Sirius whispered to Harry, as he heard the door open.  
"Check." Harry whispered back.  
  
* * *  
  
Remus had just walked in the house, he called to Sirius and Harry and got no reply.  
His suspicions of their whereabouts had been (falsely) confirmed when he read a note from Sirius telling him that they had gone to the Leaky Cauldron for drinks.  
Remus finished putting the food away and headed to his room for a nap. As soon as he entered his room he was ambushed and chloroformed.  
When Remus came to he found himself wearing a black and white French maid uniform a very small French maid uniform and pink lipstick.  
He looked around and saw Harry and Sirius blocking the door snickering at him and quickly figured out who masterminded this little operation.  
Harry pointed to the table and on it Remus found snap shots taken of every step of his cross dressing, and knowing Sirius these weren't the only copies.  
"Oh, baby."grinned Sirius.  
"That's not funny, Sirius," said Remus.  
Just then the phone rang, Harry answered it.  
"Hey, I gotta go, Ginny wants me and hanging around with you all day, I want her too." Harry said. As soon as he left Sirius locked the door and turned to face Remus.  
"So, wanna play doctor?" he asked smiling.  
"That's not funny, Sirius" Remus said, looking annoyed.  
In response Sirius started moving slowly towards him still smiling.  
"Sirius?"asked a slightly scared Remus.  
Remus started moving backwards but all he hit was the bed when Sirius jumped and pinned him to it.  
  
  
  
  
A/n and Disclaimer: Like it? Hate it? R/r you can use your imagination to guess what happened next;) J.k Rowling owns all Harry Potter rights and characters.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
